Well, well, well, if it isn’t Valentine’s Day once-a-freaking-gain. I personally am a huge fan of Valentine’s Day (boyfriend or not – usually not) and all of the chocolate that subsequently comes with it (that I buy for myself). KK stop feeling bad for me and just keep reading.

What’s also great about Valentine’s Day is that it brings us things like the Best & Worst Metros for Dating 2020 report by Apartment List. They asked 20,000 renters: “How would you rate your current city or neighborhood for opportunities to date?”, with the possible responses being: Very Satisfied, Somewhat Satisfied, Neutral, Somewhat Unsatisfied, and Very Unsatisfied.

I was pretty shocked by the findings, and I think you might be, too. Here were my favorite takeaways from the report:

Provo, Utah Ranks as the Top Metro in the US For Dating

First q: am I dumb for never having heard of this place before? The report says that this is where Brigham Young University is, so there are a lot of singles which (clearly) leads to lots of dating. But, like, what about the University of Miami? Or literally anywhere else more mainstream?

47.5% of survey respondents reported being satisfied with Provo’s dating scene. This says a lot – that’s nearly half. Some date ideas in Provo include a “hike, a day on the slopes, a hot air balloon ride, and even a whitewater excursion!”, the report shares. Certainly, none of these activities are available to me in NYC (which ranked way lower). Do outdoor activities = more satisfaction? Keeping this in mind as I continue to read along...

Richmond and Raleigh Round Out the Top 3

This makes a little more sense to me. First of all, I’ve actually heard of these places before. Plus, they’re both in the South where people settle down earlier in life. So maybe Southern men are less inclined to act like frat stars until the ripe age of 40 as they do in NYC? That would certainly satisfy me.

The report credits university life once again for the bustling dating scene. But honestly, who is actually dating in college? I sure as hell wasn’t. So maybe that’s why 42-44% of renters in these lively college towns are satisfied – because college kids don’t actually care about settling down, and therefore feel less like sh*t when they’re ghosted? Food for thought. Either way, happy for you, Richmond and Raleigh!

San Francisco, New York, and LA Are Smack Dab In The Middle

Out of 86 states, SF ranked 48, NY ranked 50, and LA ranked 51 in dating satisfaction. This is unsurprising while also completely surprising. Unsurprising because one would THINK that these bustling coastal cities with tons to do might at least rank in the top ten. I mean, I certainly would have guessed them to rank above this ‘Provo’ you speak of! (P.S. who wants to plan a trip to Provo now?!).

However, it’s also unsurprising because, as someone who has lived in both San Francisco and New York, quite literally everyone I’ve spoken to about dating in either city shares the same sentiment: dating is “absolutely terrible” (or insert any other negative adjective here). Common complaints include:

Everyone wants the next best thing
It’s hard to prioritize dating when everyone is so busy
People hide behind their phones/dating apps
No one is interested in settling down until much later in life, making dating meaningless

When all of the above complaints combust, it is no bueno. I, therefore, might’ve even guessed these three cities to rank even lower. But the lowest-ranked cities were actually…

Three Florida Metros Rank in the Bottom Three

Damn Florida. You really get a bad ‘rap.

North Port, Deltona, and Lakeland, FL came out as the three lowest-ranked metros for dating satisfaction, with each having lower than 10% dating satisfaction. This can probably be attributed to “Aging populations and renters migrating to larger Florida metros like Orlando, Miami, and Tampa,” Apartment List explains. How uplifting. Hopefully, restaurants in these states are giving really good Valentine’s Day deals to shift the mood?

Men View Dating Experiences More Positively Than Women

On average, 31% of men rated themselves satisfied, compared to 22% percent of women. This sounds pretty freaking classic. Like that time that guy I had been dating for 3 months took me out and was on his phone the entire time/completely ignored me, yet still texted me numerous times the next day saying how much fun he had. How nice to be that clueless and positive when it comes to wretched dating experiences!

All jokes aside, in my experiences at least, men don’t have many expectations and overall take a much more lax approach to dating; whereas women date in hopes of finding a boyfriend. I’ve found that my female friends (and myself included!) put ourselves on a timeline, and always have this timeline in the back of our heads when dating. Men, on the other hand, don’t usually have the same timelines (we have biology to thank for that, lucky bastards) and therefore don’t prioritize dating as highly.

Conclusion

So...surprised as I was?! If this report taught us anything, it’s that as women, we should in no way fear “not finding someone” because of our geographic location. I don’t think many 20-something women are itching to move to Provo, Utah anyways, but if you really hate city-life and wanted to move somewhere more remote, then you totally should, especially knowing that you’ll be even more satisfied with dating if you do.

And of course if you’re a gal who loves the city-life (hi, me), then – in hopes of not stating the obvious – definitely don’t ditch it just because you want to meet someone. While the statistics show that we will indeed be less satisfied with dating in big cities vs. smaller ones, that’s apparently the price we gotta pay.

I might take these findings even further to say that while city-life does look glamorous, people in smaller towns are just as happy – they just have different priorities, and dating is one of them. Whereas in bigger cities, people are a bit more selfish.

And of course, don’t be a statistic!!! Hate dating in San Francisco? Then I say download Bumble, change your attitude and get out there. Good luck and Happy Valentine’s Day. <3

I shared this over on www.sydneymkaplan.com too!